Ode on Hillary in Bosnia

by Orson Scott Card

“We landed under sniper fire!
We ran for cover, terrified!
The bullets flew around my head!
I thought for sure that I was dead!”

She told the tale in hopes it meant
We’d vote for her for president.
Instead we looked for evidence
Of Hillary’s experience,
And found that not a bullet flew.
Her thrilling story wasn’t true.

Because we know she never lies,
I ask, how did this tale arise?
Was it a dream, and when she woke
She thought that it was real?
Or was the story just a joke,
And no big deal?

Did drinking too much mocha make her
Fantasize this tale?
Or was it from a line of coke,
A furtive toke of the kind of smoke
That Bill did not inhale?

Oh hush, right-wing conspirators!
Your reasons suck! Now here is hers:
She just misspoke.
She meant to say
She landed on a sunny day
And a little girl read a poem aloud
And Hillary waved to the friendly crowd.

But campaign days are oh so long,
And being a woman, she isn’t strong,
So the story simply came out wrong.

How could you think that Hillary lied,
When it was such a small mistake,
The kind that anyone could make?
No joke, no toke of smoke, no coke,
No dream from which she never woke —
She just misspoke.

You’ve heard that what goes up comes down
And where there’s smoke there’s fire.
Well, when you visit Hillary Town
The word “misspoke” means “liar.”

(Copyright © 2008 by Orson Scott Card. Please duplicate this poem as much as you like, as long as you don’t charge for it; but include this copyright notice with it.)