Thus, I don’t consider myself ridiculous for considering myself disordered by my deficiency of empathy as long as I see that it is something that I can overcome. I might even need to pretend that I have empathy while I pray and fast until I actually obtain it.

I would be fine if the psychologist defined it as a deficiency of empathy (DoE). Most people don’t break down disorder into having a deficiency. Most people see disorder and think disease and something they can’t control or do anything about.

Perhaps it’s just a matter of semantics, but sometimes wording is crucial. Especially in this situation where our society has a predilection to finding any excuse for their behavior.

I think you could have a little more empathy with the psychologist

I agree with some of your points and disagree with others. We do live in a society that likes to ascribe our flaws to determinism and something outside of our control. This is a cop-out, as you state. It allows us to make excuses for bad behavior and poor choices. And although I agree that lack of empathy isn’t a genetic disease (which I don’t think the psychologist argues), it is likely a consequence of upbringing (or a “disorder” of environment) coupled with an unwillingness to make a very difficult effort to have compassion.

It seems that much of what we do, we do because we have seen others do it and visa versa. Does this generate a disorder? Other things that affect our behavior is what others do to us. I have heard experienced psychologists comment that almost all of their patients with Borderline Personality Disorder (and this is a very real disorder. I deal with it everyday in my line of work) have been sexually abused.

Now I’m not saying that we should define the lack of relating empathetically to others as empathy deficiency disorder or that we expand the excuses for people’s behavior. What I am saying is that it isn’t unreasonable to describe something as a dis-order (something being “out of order”) in an attempt to address causes and solutions.

One other point of contention: if we are to wait to act lovingly towards all humankind until we actually love all humankind, no one would do it. Often times we are faking goodness (or at least doing things for less than optimal motives) until we are “filled with this love, which he (God) hath bestowed upon all those who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.” It involves effort and prayer and trust in God in order to discipline ourselves (in other words, order ourselves) to eliminate the disorder of being deficient in empathy.

Thus, I don’t consider myself ridiculous for considering myself disordered by my deficiency of empathy as long as I see that it is something that I can overcome. I might even need to pretend that I have empathy while I pray and fast until I actually obtain it.